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Thursday, May 25, 2006
haiix sians... today cycle home, knocked down by car haiix... perhaps unluckily, nth happened only that the god damn uncle keep on cursing me like its my fault that not like its my fault that i'm not really feeling ok? anyways, i dun hv mood to quarrel with him so i just picked up my bike and continued me way home den he still keep on cursing me... then a very pissed me just pointed a middle finger at him den he like buay song buay song den he say what so rude and stuffs like that den i was like "eh uncle, lim bei jin tian xing qing bu hao larr hor! diam diam eh sai bo? kan ni na..." haiix... then reached home, lift under serciving... haiix... den nv bring keys haiix... den i sort of sit on the parapet and heck knows why i cried hahaax.. I CRIED OK?! I CRIED! CAN ANYONE BELIEVE IT?!?!?! I CRIED...! sometimes, i do wonder abt my existance its like this is the 2nd time i was knocked down by a car? and everytime like nth wrong? like haiix... i dunno larr haiix...what would happen if i'm really dead? i dunno if anyone would notice if i'm gone or not i dunno if anyone would know that i'm dead or not or perhaps, my existance is no more than merely an illusion to all perhaps, i am nt even real and living... i'm starting to even doubt if i'm alive or not... sometimes, i ask myself who am i but i everytime, i would not answer it... i guess its because i'm afraid that the answer is no one and a nobody... perhaps, i'm have lost myself like what yongming had said but i guess everything is meant to be like that even if i were to lost myself my life my everything i still love you... guys and girls are never the same, guys can just ps their frens but girls, their frens are more impt than anything i guess? guys are meant to born to wait for girls while girls are born to make guys wait guys aren't suppose to have feelings and only girls can hv feelings... haiix.. what am i? what am i? what am i?! i really wan to knw if i mean anything if i'm of use or not if i'm just ... haiix... i don't want to be good in everything i don't to be a nobody i don't wan to be perfect... i just want to be someone, i just wan to be somebody, be good in just one thing... but can i? haiix... there is only thing i ever wanted to do that is to love you and on my deathbed with my last breath, there is one thing i wanna tell you, i've always loved you i still do and i will always do i just wanna you to know that i love you doesn't matter if you believe me or not... haiix... perhaps... on my deathbed, with my last living breath, i would not be able to fullful my wish....
